“Stumbling Across the Southeast” – 2002 Diary

As background, we decided to take a two-week tour of the southeast immediately after graduation from business school. What follows is a somewhat edited (to reduce offensiveness) version of the events that transpired…written by Tobi and improved by Tiffany. Enjoy.

Day 1 – Sunday, June 23, 2002

Start: 0 miles. Finish: 578 miles

Lots of driving today – 8 ½ hours – good to get pretty far to start the trip.

This morning provided the quote of the day. As we’re loading up the vehicles at the Allen Center, we see Shawn. I point to Mom & Dad’s two cars and says, “my parents brought the armada.” Shawn looks at the Cadillac and says, “Armada – I haven’t seen one of those kinds of cars in a long time.”

We picked up Grandpa and Josh (always a hoot) at HoJo and all went to the Cheesecake Factory.

Most interesting sight of the day: firemen chopping a hole through the side of an RV with an axe while smoke billows out the other side.

Tiffany had the brilliant idea of getting several books on tape from the Evanston library. Little did she know that the mostly monotonous voice on the tape would put her right to sleep. We started today with “Midnight in the Garden of Good & Evil.” We thought it would give us some good insights into Savannah. A few minutes into it, and Tiffany was nodding off. Fortunately, she was not the driver. Fortunately, MitGoG&E is ONLY 15 HOURS LONG!! At the rate we’re going, it will provide days and days of enjoyment.

We made it all the way to Knoxville, TN by 8:30. We thought we’d check out downtown, but when we got there we thought it looked like a ghost town. We turned around but couldn’t find our way back to the highway so we explored more of the deserted area than we wanted.

We found an IHOP and pulled in. We noticed several obese people inside and soon discovered the reason…I got enough ranch dressing on his salad to choke a horse, and Tiffany received about a gallon of chocolate milk when she ordered the “regular” size. Hate to see the large. When we got there, she described the young waiter as “sweet.” By the end of the night, she was calling him “the twerp.” Word to the wise – don’t keep a pregnant lady hungry.

I negotiated a $10 discount at the local Clarion so we called it a night and enjoyed HBO for the first time in six years.

Day 2 – Monday, June 24, 2002

Start: 578 miles. Finish: 724 miles

Today was our first day to enjoy the sights & scenery. We did just that, while also taking in several local quirks. This was entirely due to the route we chose. Since we got farther along than we expected yesterday, we decided to deviate from MapQuest’s interstate highways, and instead explore some true local culture. After pulling off the highway, the first thing I noticed was a golf driving range. What was particularly interesting about this driving range was the 1986 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme (identical to my college car) parked in the middle of the range. Apparently the golfers got a kick out of putting balls through the windows with their 7 irons.

The next eyesore was even worse – miles and miles of outlet malls (Mom would have liked it). There was everything from Bose to Zales. These led to the lovely town of Pigeon Forge. By lovely, I mean God-awful. We unofficially renamed Pigeon Forge to Pigeon Droppings. Remember, Dollywood is the main attraction. Then imagine a whole cottage industry of top quality crap built around it. Signs that really tried to beckon you in, such as “Hillbilly Village.” I don’t know how anyone can resist that. I think the absolute best was a sign that said, “Tattoo Parlor: All piercings $25 only on the 4^th of July!!” What a way to honor the independence of our country, eh? You get the picture. Luckily, this berg was not accustomed to Chicago drivers, and Tiffany was able to cut & strut her way around the egg timers on the road and flew out of town.

We were pretty sure that we had just witnessed the worst assortment of “collectibles” (or dustables, as we call them) in the world. But we were wrong. And we knew we were wrong only a few miles later when we entered what is TRULY the worst collection of junk in the world…Gatlinburg. We should have known something wasn’t right in this place when we saw the sign that said, “wedding gowns rented here.” Any time you have to rent a wedding gown, you have issues. I suppose it’s just in case some folks unexpectedly meet their long-lost cousins here. Then we saw the (a?) General Lee (from the Dukes of Hazard) at a place appropriately called Cooter’s. The strip continues with Ripley’s Believe it or Not, Guinness’ World of Records, etc. When we got to the bible outlet store, we were pretty sure the apocalypse was upon us, so we hit the gas and sped out of town.

Next was the highlight of the day – the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Beautiful scenery, excellent downshifting to avoid flaming brakes, and sparse traffic made this leg of the trip uneventful. Except, of course, for almost crashing in a tunnel while fiddling with the headlights.

On the North Carolina side of the mountains, we happened upon the town of Cherokee, appropriately located on a Cherokee Indian reservation. It seems the Cherokee have learned a lesson or two from their northern mountainous neighbors. There were such Indian traditional favorites as Dairy Queen, Big Boy, and the like. We ate lunch at a place called the Tee Pee. It was, of course, a stone building with a paved parking lot and air conditioning. Such irony. Oh yeah, and we learned that the waitress was a blonde lady from Wisconsin. Apparently you can Pan Fer Gold right there from your minivan.

On the way out of Cherokee, we made our biggest faux pas of the day. As we’re passing an individual wearing full western Indian gear (we’re pretty sure the Cherokee didn’t actually wear feathers & such), Tiffany says, “There’s an Indian – get his picture!” So I aim and shoot. He put his hand over his face, and at this point we realized that he thinks we had just stolen his soul. I figured that was akin to slapping an Amish guy in the face, just to see if he’d hit you back. That can’t be good for business. We felt bad, but unfortunately we did this all while traveling about 40 mph past him. So there was no time for sorries. So I guess we just would have gotten the soul of his hand. However, the camera couldn’t focus in time anyway, so we had ruined his day for naught. Of course, it is a full moon tonight and I’m guessing he’s preparing to scalp me before sunrise.

The rest of the day went much better. We took the Blue Ridge Parkway to Asheville, and arrived at the new Inn at Biltmore Estate. After exploring the inn, we met Tiffany’s friend Julie (who works for Biltmore and was able to hook us up with great rates) for dinner at the Bistro on the estate.

Day 3 – Tuesday, June 25, 2002

Start: 724 miles. Finish: 803 miles

Today was relatively uneventful compared to the humor of the past couple of days. After a fantastic sleep at the inn, we checked out and headed to the Biltmore House. What a fantastic place. The architecture was magnificent, the foresight of Vanderbilt was incredible, and Tiffany had to wipe the drool from my mouth when we took the tour. I’m pretty sure we’ll be able to build something to top this 250-room monster over the course of my lifetime. Right after I hit the lottery.

We drove to hickory and checked into the Hampton. I was able to negotiate a $13 discount here…so the haggling skills must be getting honed with practice. We found ourselves smack-dab in the middle of a week-long church convention, so for the rest of the night, I greeted every person he met with, “Say, have your heard the one about the priest, the bishop, and the rabbi when they walked into a bar…?” Fine dining was provided by the Papa John’s delivery guy.

Day 4 – Wednesday, June 26, 2002

Start: 803 miles. Finish: 959 miles

Today we discovered the mecca of furniture shopping – Hickory, NC. And we were told that the epitome of the neighborhood is the Furniture Mart – a collection of 100+ furniture stores all located in one mall-like setting. However, we quickly learned that we do not represent the “target market” (in marketing-speak) for the Mart. Instead, the styles of furniture are almost exclusively traditional, oversized, and ornate. So we were able to breeze through the entire 100 stores in about 3 hours (Mom, it would have probably taken you 3 days!). In fact, there was only one store that had merchandise that appealed to our taste (more simple, contemporary, Shaker styled). But instead of buying anything, we decided to head a little farther north into the “real” furniture country. We found a great place that had the perfect furniture for us. Both the style and construction (solid wood) appealed to us. And the furniture itself was manufactured just 7 miles from the store. So we went hog wild there, and bought enough to fill up a new bedroom, dining room, and living room. All for about 70% off retail prices, even after shipping charges. So we got our money’s worth, I suppose. Of course, the Discover Card is wearing mighty thin by this time.

We figured we had successfully completed our furniture mission, so we drove on to South Carolina. The first thing we noticed upon crossing the border is the high number of signs reading, “Peaches and Fireworks, This Exit!” I guess I had never really thought about peaches and fireworks in the same sentence, but it seemed to flow naturally here. Tiffany informed me of a piece of trivia: although Georgia is known as the peach state, South Carolina actually produces and sells more peaches each year. So there. Use it at your next cocktail party. I also learned today that James Buchanan was the only U.S. President never to marry, 18% of men sleep in the nude (you know who you are), rain falls at about 17 mph, and that it’s about 10 times more likely to shoot a hole in one in golf than to bowl a perfect 300. These are the things you learn on vacation.

Spartanburg, SC, or as Scott called it, the armpit of the southeast, was our destination. Well, I’ve seen a lot of armpits in my day, so I didn’t have a strong desire to see another. The real reason for our stop in Spartanburg was the BMW factory (their only US factory), at which tours are given to the public. By the time we rolled into town, the public area was closed for the day, so we will have to wait until morning. We had dinner at a Mexican restaurant (knowing it was a gamble for the area) and stayed at a Jameson Inn, where we once again negotiated a discount and swam for the third night in a row. The Jameson had nice little details, such as a phone call from the front desk 15 minutes after arrival to see how we liked the room and make sure everything was satisfactory.

We’ve come to call Dad’s Cadillac the “Maroon Camel” due to its enormous gas tank and the few stops we’ve had to make to fill up.

Current Events: Apparently WorldCom imploded today a la Enron a few months ago. Fuzzy math in the accounting department. Nancy, hopefully you sold out of it early.

Day 5 – Thursday, June 27, 2002

Start: 959 miles. Finish: 1404 miles

Another heavy slumber behind hotel curtains. We’ve determined that the best way to avoid the effects of global warming, skin cancer, etc. on human beings is for all of us to hide behind hotel curtains. As Rory would say, nothing less than a direct missile hit will penetrate them. As those of you who’ve stayed at our apartment know, we haven’t had a good night’s sleep in over two years now. So we’re getting quite used to living out of hotels this week. With the swimming, the good sleep, the paper every morning, and the free breakfasts (except of course for the Biltmore, where breakfast will probably run you $25), maybe we’ll just live out of hotels the rest of our lives.

We’re also learning about each other’s hotel habits. For example, only one of us will stay at a hotel where the rooms have outside entrances (although last night was an exception, mainly because the front desk lady was so darned friendly). Also, only one of us will use hotel shampoo. I’ll leave it to your imagination to decide who is who.

Today is also our four-year wedding anniversary. We spent it in the armpit of the southeast.

Our first stop of the day was the BMW factory, where the Z3 (pronounced zed three for you Canadians) is manufactured. There are two public areas here…the Zentrum, which is part museum and part gift shop, and the plant itself. Unfortunately, only the Zentrum was open to the public today. The reason, as we found out in a scoop by the local newspaper just today, is that the plant is making its final Z3 this week, and will then switch over to producing the all-new Z4. Since the Z4 hasn’t been officially announced, they’ve suspended public tours of the plant.

Anyway, we enjoyed the Zentrum quite a bit. Lots of nostalgic autos, plus interesting info on how their cars are designed and made. Plus there was the obligatory gift shop where we got a hat for me (as a potential future customer) and booties for Jr (as a potential future passenger…Tiffany’s about 5 months pregnant, but you probably already knew that).

On the road again (think Willie Nelson), we stopped at a dive in Newberry, SC (Milk & Egg Capital) called Bill & Fran’s. For those of you familiar with Bloomington restaurants, think Wee Willies meets Gib & Denzil’s. The food was mostly homemade, and my fried chicken was finger lickin’ goodä. Later that day, we got stuck in southbound traffic. Luckily, we weren’t going northbound, because that entire side of the highway was shut down due to a major crash. There were lifeline helicopters, jackknifed trucks, and cars that looked like pancakes. The backup on the northbound side of the road was close to 15 miles long. It probably took those cars several hours just to get through it.

From there the day went pretty straight downhill. If you’ve ever seen the Michael Douglas movie “Falling Down,” then you can imagine Tiffany as that character and understand completely. She decided to drive today, which I thought would be an okay idea, since I had done most of it to this point. After 6 hours, we reached Jacksonville, FL and decided to take another of our famous detours (word to the wise: just stick to the MapQuest directions…that’s why you got them to begin with!). We headed east to the Atlantic coast, expecting to see wonderful vistas and beautiful shorelines. Instead we saw nothing but swampland, since the closest you can get to the water is located at the bottom of a ridge that separates the road from the shore. So you feel like you’re driving in a jungle instead of along a coast. At least we saw Sawgrass.

It gets better, though. We arrive in St. Augustine, and decide this might be a good place to explore. We had both heard of it, and Tiffany thought she might have actually been there as a child. However, as we arrived we found ourselves in the middle of some type of town festival, complete with bands, traffic, crowds, and townspeople dressed up in colonial outfits (and as someone once said, people who dress up for civil war reenactments are the lowest of the low). After 20 minutes of circling, we slipped into the first parking space we could find. We saw a microbrewery, of which I’m usually a big fan. So we decided to eat dinner there…but they seated us outside and within 5 minutes a combination of the heat, humidity, mosquitoes, and smoke from the table next to us drove us back inside. Of course this was after I had ordered a flight of beers so the waiter had to move them all with us.

We found a little motel overlooking the bay (this would be the second one with rooms that lead directly outside…I knew I shouldn’t have pushed her) and negotiated a $10 discount. This was by far the worst place we’ve stayed. First, Tiffany wouldn’t even touch the bed, because she thought the linens were dirty and smelled like other people. Then it was loud outside all night. It felt like we were in the living room of a house with people all around us. There was even some weird construction going on. Upon check-in, they should have said, “Welcome to Beirut.” Tiffany dropped the soap in the toilet. I got the award for Most Creative Use of an Ice Bucket. Let’s just say I’m glad I’m not the next guest using that ice bucket for its intended purpose.

At one point, Tiffany was thinking about going down to the front desk and getting our money back. I was trying to imagine the conversation:

“I know it’s midnight and we’ve been here for a couple of hours, but we want to get our money back. The room is dirty, smelly, and it’s loud all around.”

“Is there a stain?”

“No. It just feels dirty.”

“Is there a smoky smell?”

“No. It smells like someone’s cheap cologne.”

“Well, we don’t rent these rooms by the hour. You still owe for a full night.”

“It sure looks and smells like you rent by the hour!”

So we decided to tough it out for the night. It made for a long night.

Day 6 – Friday, June 28, 2002

Start: 1404 miles. Finish: 1642 miles

One good thing about staying in a crappy hotel – we get up & out early. This morning we were up at the crack of dawn. Tiffany took a quick shower and found what she thought would be the least dirty place in the room – the table & chair. After my shower, we checked out and bid it good riddance. We did find a nice breakfast joint to walk to. After that, we headed down the shore. We were a few hours ahead of schedule, so we decided to take another detour from our plans. We continued south past Daytona Beach and found our way to Cape Canaveral. We pulled up to the Kennedy Space Center, not knowing what public access was possible. I didn’t realize that it was such a Disney-like atmosphere. So we ended up spending several hours touring around. It’s a pretty incredible place, especially for a techie nerd like me. Unfortunately, we didn’t have time to see everything. We’ll come back in a few years when Jr can enjoy it.

We drove from one Florida coast to another in order to cross back over to Tampa, where Tiffany’s Aunt Vickie and family live. We also found out first-hand that this is the lightning capital of the world. Dinner at Shell’s provided some good seafood, and Joe picking on Ashley provided good conversation and entertainment.

Day 7 – Saturday, June 29, 2002

Start: 1642 miles. Finish: 1642 miles (we took Joe’s truck)

I took a shower and noticed that the shampoo was called Blonde Shampoo. I thought, “what a nice gesture.” I wonder what they do for their brunette guests?

We spent today with Vickie, Joe, and Ashley (apparently Jayton is allergic to us, because he was sick all weekend). After a big breakfast at home, we headed to the Tampa Aquarium.

We took a short tour of some other Tampa neighborhoods, then we headed back to their house. We saw a place with “swamp stomppin karaok” – we weren’t sure what that was … or the reason for the multiple spelling errors on the sign.

This is a picture of Joe’s 1978 Mercedes convertible (just like Dad’s except the color). Joe won this car last year in a raffle after buying $20 worth of tickets. The car once belonged to Olivia Newton John.

Tiffany swam and we all enjoyed Vickie’s famous cheese ball. But before doing so, she broke one of Vickie’s crystal dustables. Oops. We went to a fantastic place for dinner – the Columbia Restaurant. This place is 97 years old and has remained in the family for several generations. It takes up an entire city block, has 11 dining rooms, and seats 1660 customers! The food is Cuban. Best of all, there is a dancing show every night, featuring traditional and flamenco style dancing. Trés cool. The only annoyance was the ringing of multiple cell phones in the audience during dinner and the show, including two at our own table. Tiffany and I later wondered why people can’t turn off their phones in public places.

Day 8 – Sunday, June 30, 2002

Start: 1642 miles. Finish: 1943 miles

After a nice breakfast and sendoff, we headed back north. Along the way, we finally finished the UNABRIDGED version of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil … 15 hours of exciting tales of Savannahians. We do recommend the book, but you’ll probably want to visit Savannah afterward.

Our next stop was Jekyll Island, Georgia. The island was once the summer getaway for America’s richest families – the Astors, Rockefellers, Morgans, and the like. Now it is a wildlife sanctuary and vacation spot. We found our hotel, the Jekyll Inn, and checked in. The place was not as swanky as we had hoped. Actually it was pretty much falling apart. The pool was not the tropical paradise Tiffany had hoped for. Think squalling children and a karaoke singer singing (and I kid you not): “Momma and Jesus will always love me…”

But after a beautiful walk along the 10-mile beach and a nice dinner in the harbor, we were more than happy that we were staying on the island instead of at a hotel off I-95. Side note: I suggested we go out to the beach tonight after dinner to look at the stars since it is pretty secluded out here. Tiffany informed me that we had already seen the quota of nature with the doe and 3 raccoons we saw on the way to dinner.

Day 9 – Monday, July 1, 2002

Start: 1943 miles. Finish: 2037 miles

This morning we were up & out pretty early. We continued north to Savannah. We took a scenic route, but it turned out to be not so scenic. So we finished it up with the interstate. We found our b&b but it was too early to check in, so we headed to the visitors’ center and museum. There we received our daily dose of history of the area. Also we got our first taste of the effect of the Midnight book on this city. It seems to have taken over the city…with Midnight tours, gift shops featuring the statue depicted on the book cover, etc. The trolley tours are now over $25 per person. We thought this was an exorbitant fee for such a small area, so we walked along our own tour. We saw some of the “truly” (quotes are because this is my opinion) important historical sites, such as revolutionary war and civil war locations. We also saw the “newly” important sites, such as the Mercer House, Berendt’s apartment, Joe Odum’s house, and the Lady Chablis’ club. We descended into the depths of the hated Biggest Ball of Twiners today, but at least it was the middle of the week so the crowds were not too crazy.

We ate at (and met the real) Mrs. Wilkes’ Dining Room. It features homemade cooking and family-style seating. “Family-style” meaning this: you wait to sit down at a large dinner table (like your grandma’s) and eat with 6 other people you don’t know. The waitresses sit large bowls of things like collard greens, candied yams, fried chicken, and sliced tomatoes in front of you and you pass the food as if you were at home on Thanksgiving. I was a little hesitant at first, but it was fun and we ended up meeting people from Atlanta, Charlotte, and Los Angeles. Well worth the flat $12 per person fee. Next we visited the Davenport house, a restored mansion built in the early 1800s. It was interesting but probably overpriced at $7 per person. It probably could have been completed in 5 minutes, but our guide talked so slowly that it took ½ hour. She was a true Southerner, the kind who pronounces the o in “dog” the same as the o in “stove.”

After checking in to our b&b in the historic district, we took a taxi to the City Market. Originally, the City Market was used as a slave auction. Later a parking lot covered the site, and a new marketplace was placed next to it, including shops and restaurants. The slave auction history is strangely omitted from the Visitors’ Center brochures on the area. We walked to the shore and back and discovered we were apparently the only people in the whole town who don’t smoke. We found a store that had local tchotchkes. They were high quality items such as hats and tee shirts. And they had catchy phrases such as, “American by birth, Southern by the grace of God,” “The South will rise again,” “If you © NY, take I-95 north,” and “Rebel Bitch.” Tiffany wanted to buy lots of keepsakes but I was able to steer her away.

One thing we’ve definitely noticed about this area, and the South in general, is that they are obsessed with the Civil War, as if it just happened yesterday. Even worse, they seem to believe that they would have been better off seceding. I’ve come to the conclusion that the North would have been better off just letting them go. Too bad Lincoln didn’t just bid them good riddance and give ‘em the finger. My guess is they would end up a few notches below Canada, and if they’re lucky, a half-step above Mexico.

We had dinner at the City Market Café, which we found to be the best value in the whole market. Afterwards, we came upon a belligerent drunk guy who was trying to pick fights with others in the area. He turned and almost bumped into me, but I sidestepped him in the nick of time. Seconds later, several squad cars pulled up and handcuffed him. Ah, the lovely night. Then we took a PediCab (imagine a small Hansome Cab powered by some poor schmuck pedaling a bicycle instead of a horse) back to the b&b.

When we were in City Market, we saw a few cockroaches near the manhole covers in the street. When we got to our place, we noticed a couple similar bugs on our front steps, welcoming us home. None of this bothered us too much. But when we entered our room, we were greeted by the largest cockroach we had ever seen. I mean, it could have pedaled us home on its own PediCab. This thing could probably eat small rodents in a single gulp. It reminded us of the song, “The Cockroach that Ate Cincinnati.” With Tiffany in tears, I went to the front desk, got some Raid, and chased this thing around for a half hour before finally finishing him off. His shell was harder than a frickin’ turtle’s. The wonderful aroma of Raid continued in our “charming” B&B for the remainder of the night. A running theme of this trip: Tiffany couldn’t sleep the rest of the night.

Day 10 – Tuesday, July 02, 2002

Start: 2037 miles. Finish: 2153 miles

Current Events: Today, on his sixth attempt, Steve Fossett became the first solo pilot to go around the world in a hot air balloon. Good for him.

We had a lovely breakfast, checked out, and finished our Savannah trip by visiting the Colonial cemetery. This cemetery was used from the mid-1700s to the mid-1800s and contains some interesting people, such as Button Gwinnett, who was one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence and ultimately died after losing a pistol duel to James McIntosh, who is buried nearby. Their spirits probably replay the duel from time to time.

We drove to Charleston and stopped to eat at a place called Alice’s. Tiffany’s guidebook said it was a great place to get down-home cooking on the cheap. Well, that much is true. What it didn’t say was that caucasion tourists stick out like a sore thumb in this predominantly black neighborhood. Tiffany ordered a fish sandwich and got a little more than she bargained for. When the plate arrived, it was covered with two full fish with breading covering not only the meat, but also the still-intact skin. Let’s just say this was not the way she usually sees & eats fish. Our meal was actually very tasty, but seemed uncomfortable, as if we were being stared at by the locals. Tiffany whispered to me that she was singing, “Which one of these is not like the other…” in her mind. It was hard to keep a straight face during lunch.

Next we checked into our b&b and enjoyed some sweet tea on the piazza. We must have been getting slap-happy, because Tiffany dropped some food, then missed the trash can with her napkin, and we laughed so hard and so long that our stomachs hurt.

We borrowed a couple of bicycles from the inn and pedaled our way around town for the remainder of the afternoon. Charleston has a similar history to Savannah’s, but seems to lack some of Savannah’s charm. The historic district in Charleston is not laid out or preserved all that well, so it made for a quick bike ride. We stopped at City Market (similar story as Savannah’s) and then again at an overlook for Fort Sumter (site of the first shot of the Civil War).

For dinner, we had what might become our best of the whole trip – hickory smoked, Memphis-style ribs at a place called Sticky Fingers. Yum. The hardest part was getting there, with Charleston’s maze of one-way streets getting us flummoxed, and with parking spaces hard to come by.

There’s a character in the Midnight book (the Lady Chablis) who uses the phrase, “two tears in a bucket, mother f*** it” to mean “forget about it.” We have modified the phrase to “two drops in a bucket.” We were thinking if we got back to the room and there was a cockroach there, then we would just pack up our stuff, leave immediately, and leave a note saying, “two drops in a bucket, we’re outta here.” Fortunately, after Tiffany conducted a thorough search, she couldn’t find even a single bug.

We’re starting to get homesick, and considering the various Independence Day terrorist warnings, we may amend our plans for the remainder of the trip.

Day 11 – Wednesday, July 3, 2002

Start: 2153 miles. Finish: 2870 miles

This morning we had another nice breakfast provided by the B&B. We met the other guests, one couple from Chattanooga and one couple from Florida. We have been finding that we are the token northerners at each place we go. Must be these are popular vacation spots for those more inland in the southern states.

After breakfast we decided we’ve had enough of living out of hotels, so we’d head back north. At this point, we have seen pretty much all we cared to see, and it’s been a lot of driving, especially for the pregnant lady. So after a leisurely breakfast, we pack up our stuff and hit the road. Since we needed to switch cars with my parents, our destination was Bloomington. The drive was uneventful. The traffic moved along quickly and the weather agreed.

At some point, we started backtracking along the same route we had initially traveled on our way down. Even though it had only been a little over a week, it seemed as though we had been on the road for months! Some of the exits seemed vaguely familiar. We passed Stinking Creek – Grandpa Hudson had told us to look for that one. He and Aunt Molly had stopped there on a trip to Florida one time. We didn’t stop, but we did notice the odoriferous reason for its namesake.

We weren’t sure how far we would get today, but we made it all the way to Bloomington after about 12 hours of driving. We stopped at Noble Roman’s to satisfy a breadstick craving. We didn’t stick around long, though, since we were the only customers and even the employees made themselves scarce after our order was delivered (think Sonny from the Godfather).

Day 12 – Thursday, July 4, 2002

Start: 2870 miles. Finish: 2870 miles

Happy Independence Day, America!

Tiffany and I had the pleasure of watching Bloomington’s Fourth of July parade. There were some creative, well-done floats as well as some…ummm…understated designs. Mostly the creative floats were from various lobbying groups, such as death penalty abolishers (with Uncle Sam carrying signs reading, “an eye for an eye leaves us all blind”) and those promoting a less gluttonous culture (vegetarians carrying signs reading “grow some food”). On the other hand, there were dump trucks. Lots of dump trucks. Blowing horns and lifting their hydraulic beds. Now that’s what I call a parade. We were actually there to watch Mom on her Area 10 float, but apparently we were too late for it.

Day 13 – Friday, July 5, 2002

Start: 2870 miles. Finish: 2870 miles

Spent the day at the pool today. No funny stories.

Day 14 – Saturday, July 6, 2002

Start: 2870 miles. Finish: 2960 miles

We packed up the Protegé and went to Tiffany’s dad’s today. Spent most of the afternoon in his pool. Most of that side of the family was there, for better or for worse. J

Day 15 – Sunday, July 7, 2002

Start: 2960 miles. Finish: 3250 miles

Sweet Home Chicago. After 3250 miles, 132 gallons of gas (that’s 25 mpg for those keeping score), and over 100 pictures, we’ve never been so happy to see our hot little apartment.

Random quote of the trip

“I don’t know what you said, but you said something.”